Tabled Coitus Shamy
by C.R. Wall
Summary: What happens when Amy suggests putting coitus back on the table.


Amy tasted the spaghetti and hot dogs. It was just the way Sheldon liked it. The strawberry quick was chilling in the refrigerator. Sheldon would be home any minute and she was beginning to question her decision about the conversation she would have with him.

"I am home," Sheldon said as he walked in. "I have been waiting all day to here this proposal of yours. I could hardly concentrate at…" Sheldon sniffed the air. "Is that Spaghetti with cut up hot dogs in it?"

"It is," Amy said walking toward him and kissing his lips "And your strawberry quick is chilling in the refrigerator.

Sheldon looked at Amy suspiciously. "Are you buttering me up for something? What is this proposal you wanted to discuss with me?"

Amy bit her lip. "I wanted to waitlo until after dinner to discuss the proposal."

"I am sure you do. My stomach will be so full of strawberry quick and spaghetti with hot dogs that I will be on a dopamine high and I will agree to anything. I am wise to your ways woman."

"Okay let's sit down," Amy said leading Sheldon to the couch. "I want you to know that I am not trying to pressure you into anything, if you are not ready that is fine," Amy rambled. She wished she had never suggested the proposal earlier that morning. She had purposely brought it up because she knew if she didn't she would chicken out.

"Amy what is it?" Sheldon asked. Amy seemed very anxious and it was making him nervous.

"Well we have been living together a while and things have been going pretty well."

"Agreed."

"Maybe we should consider putting coitus back on the table."

"Oh, I see," Sheldon said. If he would have had his way it would have been back on the table, the day after they moved in together. Lying next to her every night without feeling her touch was enough to drive him wild, but she had suggested the sex ban and he did not want to pressure her into anything.

"It is not that I need to do it more often than my birthday. I am happy with the arrangement, but from a scientific stand point there are definite stress release benefits and I know your work has been stressful lately. Maybe a little distraction occasionally would help you refocus."

"Interesting proposal," Sheldon said. Now he was toying with her. He enjoyed watching her squirm and babble her way through this proposal. Her cheeks were now as red as his flash t-shirt.

"Anyway, you take all the time you need to think about it. I will get supper on the table," Amy said smiling as she stood up and headed for the kitchen

"Amy wait," Sheldon said taking her hand as she walked by him.

"Yes" Amy said turning to face him again.

"Can we put supper in the refrigerator for now?"

"Sure. You aren't hungry?" Amy felt a tinge of guilt thinking she had upset Sheldon to the point he could not even enjoy his favorite meal.

Sheldon stood up towering over Amy. She did not look up to meet his eyes.

"I am famished," he said his voice more husky than usual. He put his hand under her chin guiding her eyes up to his. "Just not for food besides if we are going to put coitus on the table it is probably unsanitary to have food there not to mention all the um…rocking your world, might lead to the spaghetti ending up on the floor.

"Sheldon Lee Cooper are you suggesting we-"

"Am I suggesting you were the dirty girl that put coitus and table in the same sentence."

"I-"

Before Amy could finish the thought, Sheldon's lips had found hers and were violently assaulting them as he wrapped her in his arms moving her backwards toward the kitchen table. They stumbled their way across the room. When her bottom touched the table, he lifted her up sitting her on the table eliciting a little squeal from her.

Sheldon pulled away from the kiss looking Amy in the eyes and smiling.

"Maybe we should discuss the terms of this new arrangement," Am suggested knowing that structure and rules helped Sheldon feel more comfortable.

"Amy not everything needs to be planed to death. My research on the subject suggests that a little spontaneity goes a long way."

"Your research?"

"Of course. I am not an animal I research every endeavor I partake in. Now should we discuss the research, or do you want me to give it to you on this table."

"How about you give me hands on lessons from your research."

"No…those that can't do teach. I can do. I am about to excel at giving it to you"

"Oh your dirty talk is making me hot," Amy said wrapping her arm around her neck and her legs around his waist. She could feel his erection against her thigh.

"I propose we do this with as many clothes on as possible, so we do not have to take time to fold them," Sheldon said grinding against her.

"Or we could just throw the clothes on the floor. We will be putting them back on, anyway right?"

"Amy, you know I will not be able to concentrate with a pile of clothes lying on the floor. Now take those tights off and fold them neatly."

"What if I do this?" Amy asked standing up and pulling her tights down and off one leg sitting back down on the table letting the tights hang from her left leg. She bit her lip as she looked back at Sheldon.

Sheldon looked at her as if she had just discovered a new planet a mixture of arousal, confusion, and amazement on his face. He unzipped his pants and pulled his erection free before his lips found hers again. His tongue aggressively poked at her lips until she parted them.

"Amy," he breathed into her mouth as he rubbed his cock against her panties.

"Hmm."

"You didn't take off your panties."

Amy took hold of him using his head to push her panties to the side and slide him in her eliciting a low growl from him as his hands came to rest on either side of her to keep his balance. He felt suddenly lightheaded.

"No sense wasting time," she whispered, biting his lip as she wrapped her legs around his waist taking him completely inside her.

"Amy, I don't know where you learn your vixen ways, but you make me crazy," Sheldon said pulling away from her kiss breathless. His southern drawl thick with lust. Amy smiled. She loved how he lost the ability to cover his accent when he was aroused.

Sheldon stayed still for a moment hands on each side of Amy, looking into her eyes. His eyes half open and dark with lust. Amy knew he was fighting for control of his body. He always got really still and his whole body went stiff when he was trying to hold back his eruption.

"Sheldon, we forgot a condom."

"No time for that. Besides at this point in your cycle there is little more chance of you getting pregnant than of me," Sheldon breathed. He had never been inside her without protection. It was so warm, wet, and much more enjoyable than he had imagined.

"Sheldon"

"I will pull out. Just please don't make me stop this now," he begged breathlessly.

"Okay," Amy said. He felt so good inside her she was easily persuaded. After years of not understanding why it was so difficult to prevent unwanted pregnancy, she finally got it.

Sheldon started to thrust his hips, with a low constant moan, as he pushed and pulled her hips in time with his own aggressive movement. Amy leaned back on her hands enjoying the novelty of their new randy location.

Sheldon stopped again. The view of Amy leaning back on her hands, her hair flowing behind her, mouth slightly ajar, still fully clothed with him inside her was too much of a visual. He held perfectly still trying to think of anything that would prevent the moment from ending.

"You okay," Amy asked opening her eyes and sitting up.

"You are just too damn sexy and I am not ready for this to be over."

Amy smiled kissing Sheldon's neck and raking her nails down his back. Sheldon slowly began to thrust in and out again moving his fingers between Amy's legs to stimulate her. He had to get her there soon because he knew he could not hold on much longer.

Amy moaned loudly thrusting against his hand. She lifted her legs resting them on his shoulders circling her hips and taking him so deep within her. She started squeezing him inside her. That was it. There was no way of stopping it any longer.

"Oh God! Amy" Sheldon cried as he slipped over the edge spilling inside her. He leaned against Amy. She pulled her legs down from his shoulders and wrapped her arms around him caressing his back.

"I am sorry," he said breathless.

"It is okay. I am infertile right now, anyway right?"

"No."

"What," Amy said in a panic pulling away from him.

"No. I mean you are not fertile now, but I meant I am sorry I finished to quickly. I guess I like the table," he said kissing her neck.

"Oh it is okay you will make up for it next time," Amy said jumping down from the table and grabbing her tights.

"No wait. Social convention dictates that a sexual encounter is not over until both parties are satisfied."

"Sheldon, it is fine it happens. We tried something new. You liked it next time we will take novel things a little slower.

"Or we could try another novel thing," he said grabbing her by the hips and setting her back on the table.

Sheldon left the room and returned with a wet rag.

"Here clean up a little bit."

"Seriouly?"

"I promise you will be glad you did."

Amy did as Sheldon asked. Sheldon grabbed a chair and pulled it up between her legs. He lifted her legs up on his shoulders

"Sheldon what are you doing?"

"I am going to have a little snack before supper."

"Sheldon, you-"

Before Amy could finish her thought, Sheldon's tongue was caressing her clit

"Oh myyyy" she said her back arching. "That is satisfying."

Sheldon licked and sucked at her swollen button as he slid two fingers inside.

"Sheldon," Amy breathed as she lay down on the table unable to hold herself up any longer.

Sheldon continued his assault plunging his fingers deeper and deeper inside her as his tongue circled her button. He watched her writhing about on the table as she neared her climax. He knew she was close when her breath became rapid and her moans louder. He slid his fingers out of her and plunged his tongue in wiggling it at fevered pace. Amy sat straight up on the table moaning and bucking against his face. Her hands were in his hair pulling him against her. When her body finally relaxed Sheldon looked up smiling at her.

"Was that satisfactory?"

"Are you kidding?" she asked still breathless. "Do you have room for supper?"

"Actually, I worked up quite an appetite," Sheldon said standing up. "I will heat up dinner." He started to put his member back in his pants and that was when Amy noticed it was once again fully erect.

"What is that?" she asked.

"It seems that I enjoyed my snack…a lot"

"Well there is no since wasting that beautiful thing."

"Amy, Leonard and Penny are going to be over at seven for game night."

"We have thirty minutes. Let's do an experiment," Amy said pulling her shirt over her head and throwing it on the floor next to the table.

"Amy, I am not doing anything until you pick that up."

"Hmm…" was Amy's only response as she reached her hands behind her undoing her bra and letting it fall off her beautiful chest. She tossed it on top of her shirt.

"Amy."

"I hypothesize that I can distract you enough to make you completely forget about the pile of clothes even if it is sitting right in front of you."

"And I hypothesize that I will not be able to enjoy things with that pile of clothes there and Leonard and Penny will be knocking on the door while we are still naked and frustrated.

"Hmmm…we will see," Amy said grabbing the tail of Sheldon's shirt and pulling it over his head. She threw it on the pile on the floor. "Now drop your pants and put them on the pile," Amy commanded while she removed her tights and skirt, throwing them on the pile followed by her panties.

Sheldon licked his lips as he watched Amy undress.

"Snap, snap Cooper. We don't have long to complete this experiment."

Sheldon reluctantly took off his clothes and threw them on the pile.

"This is not going to work," he said crossing his arms.

"Sit in the chair," Amy commanded.

Sheldon sat down in a chair facing the pile of clothes. Amy climbed on his lap kissing him hard and fast as she slipped him inside her. His nails dug into her hips as she thrust against him. It felt so good, but even with his eyes closed Sheldon could still see the pile of clothes crumpled on the floor. Amy sensed his distraction and got up from his lap.

"I told you," Sheldon said thinking he had won. Amy turned with her back to him and sat on his lap easing him into her warmth as she circled her hips. She moved slowly up and down over his shaft, squeezing his tip with her walls when he was barely inside her then easing back down in painfully slow circles.

Sheldon wanted to forget the clothes in front of him. He tried to forget, even though that would mean he was wrong and Amy was right, but he couldn't. The things Amy was doing felt amazing, but his mind was a powerful thing. Sometimes it was a blessing and sometimes a curse. Sheldon reached around Amy's body finding her breasts. He cupped them playing with her nipples as he sucked on her neck, meeting her thrust with his own. Still his mind wandered back to the clothes out of place.

"Amy," he whispered.

"Yes."

"It isn't working."

"I guess it is time to pull out the big guns," Amy said standing up and turning around. She got down on her knees."

"Amy," Sheldon protested when he realized what she was about to do. She had never done it before and he did not want her to feel like she had to, but before he could get his words out. His erection was in Amy mouth and her tongue was flicking back and forth over his tip. She looked him in the eyes as she made slurping and sucking sounds.

Suddenly the only thing Sheldon could think about was Amy's mouth on him. The warmth and suction as she moved up and down harder and faster. He knew he was getting closer, but there was no way he was coming for a second time in one night without her joining him.

"Stand up," he breathed.

"Really?" Amy said doing as he asked. "How can you be distracted when-"

Before Amy could finish the sentence, Sheldon had her bent over the table and had slammed into her producing a loud guttural moan from both. He reached around caressing her clit with one hand and pinching her nipple with the other.

"Come with me Amy. Come with me,"

"I am," she cried as her body stiffened. Her walls pulsing around him that was all Sheldon needed to hear. His own climax took over his body. They stood silently for a long moment. Sheldon kissing up and down Amy's neck.

"I guess your hypothesis was right," Sheldon whispered nibbling on her ear. There is just one problem."

"What is that?"

"This place smells like coitus, we are disheveled, and Penny and Leonard will be here any minute."

Amy grabbed the pile of clothes, separating hers from his and throwing Sheldon's at him. "Get dressed I will spray some Febreeze. You throw supper in the microwave."

Amy and Sheldon had just sat down at the table when there was a knock at the door.

"Ready for some girls against guys?" Penny asked Sheldon."

"Not tonight. Tonight, I want my girl on my team," Sheldon said winking at Amy. Amy smiled at him noticing his hair was standing up from where she had her hands in it. She bit her lip as she pictured his head between her legs. Her knees were weak.

"Eww what is all over this table. It is sticky," Leonard asked lifting his arm off the table and wiping it off.

Amy and Sheldon looked at each other guiltily.

"No please tell me you didn't"

"I don't know what to tell you, Leonard. Amy and I put coitus back on the table."

Penny and Leonard both stood up and moved away from the table disgusted.

"Now you know how I felt when you did it in my spot."


End file.
